Throughout our lives, we learn from our parents and I hope that I am always teaching my children, despite them not really being children anymore. Although my father is no longer really able to express his needs or really communicate anything clearly to me anymore, I am still learning from him.
Grace and Gratitude.
My father continues to show everyone he meets that he has a sense of humor about the world and that he accepts what is because he cannot change it. As a result, he doesn’t fight having people help him. He accepts all help with grace and gratitude.
How to Grow Old.
He is old. There is no denying that. At the ripe old age of 91, he has outlived his entire family. He is the last living relic of his generation. Yet, he is okay with that. Even grateful. Whenever I say goodbye after a visit and I say “I’ll see ya later,” he always responds with “I hope so.” He doesn’t take anything for granted. I know he hates bingo and some of the activities they offer in his facility but he participates anyway because, why not?
How to Live The Last Chapter of Your Life With Dignity.
He never complains. He generally is happy. And he appreciates all the help he is given. He loves getting attention, but doesn’t demand it and is grateful when he gets it. He continues to smile and treat people with respect, just as he has always done.
Never Stop Trying.
Despite his body being riddled with Parkinson’s and despite the difficulty he has in getting out of a chair, he continues to be willing to get up and take a walk (assisted) daily. I can tell it isn’t enjoyable for him, but he continues to do it because he knows that once he stops, he will lose the ability to walk. So he keeps at it.
In a memory care unit, music is playing much of the time because the brain never loses the ability to retain a song. He will often start singing along with a tune that he hears. It’s wonderful because it is often one of the few times I hear a coherent sentence come out of his mouth.
Here is my hope.
I hope that the example I am giving my own children will resonate with them. I hope they will understand the importance of taking care of family, no matter what happens, no matter the inconvenience. I hope they will understand that it is a privilate that I am able to do this for my father. Sharing these last few years with him, although a huge disruption to my life, will be something I will cherish the rest of my days.